Lessons still to learn

Lessons still to learn:
The longer I am at the Farm, the more I am being challenged. Some things seem old and expected. So much so that I get tricked into thinking I know it all. Just as that confidence allows me to get a little cocky, well then I am hit with something new or my mind is changed about something. The Farm and the experience as a Farm Manager are different from other things in that the farm is ever changing. It seems as though it is in constant change. The Farm from last fall is a different farm than the one this fall or even the farm of this past summer. Its just different which is good and keeps me on my toes.
The last couple weeks were good for me at the farm. They made me feel as though I am supposed to be here still, in this place (because I had been questioning my decision a bit after Alex left) still, but soon perhaps I will be ready to go. The last couple groups were groups I had before and although some things were the same, others were different. I learned new things about people I had worked with in the past and learned to see them in a new light. I guess the lesson for me was to remain open and to trust…trust my decision to be here and trust the Lord. I do miss my family, and my home very very much. And yet, I feel I have made a farm family here. At times, coexisting between the two worlds has been difficult but I guess I will have to do it just a bit longer. Looking back one thing is for certain, I can see growth…growth towards the person God wants me to be. Of course, not with many steps backwards along the way, but overall I feel mostly I have been moving forward. The more steps forward I take, the more difficult the journey…so pray for me one my walk.
One change I see in myself now is that soon I will be at a place where I can say goodbye. Not too long ago, I would think of leaving Lewis county and I did not know how I could do it. How I could leave this lifestyle, the work, and mainly the people who had accepted me into their lives. Even though I miss home terribly, I was in a weird place. Now though, I know soon I will be at the place and soon ready to move on…I guess just not yet.