First day at the farm

Today I got to spend some time exploring the farm. I took some pictures to share its beauty with you...

saying goodbye and starting new all in the same moment

Today, Sunday I am finally here. This is the start of a new begging. As I am starting my time at the farm here, another farm manager is leaving. It will be interesting to see what unfolds for me along the way. One thing for certain, I am a very very very lucky girl! Coming here and saying goodbye was hard, I will miss everyone from home a lot! In saying my "goodbye for nows" I realised just how much I am loved...and it is a lot! The last few days have been filled with many hugs, tears, laughs and gifts. From making sure I have all I need, to writing note cards for each day, scrapbooks and even play lists that remind me of friends and family...I am so blessed. Thank you! The ride down was fun! Mom Dad, Maggie and Me...it hasn't been just the four of us in a while. We listened to music, slept, looked at the scenery and ate fast food along the way-(the makings of perfect road trip!) When we arrived at the farm around 10pm everyone there quickly helped me carry stuff in the house. We unpacked and me and mags shared my new bed(just like the old days). The next day, Sunday we went to mass at Holy Redeemer-my new parish and met many of the people I'm sure I will call friends soon. After that, Joe, the volunteer director, took the fam on the tour of the farm, and then I said goodbye as they headed back to New York. (Mom, Dad and Mags-I love you all very much! Thank you for taking the time to see where I will be and for making sure I am all set with everything!) With a group not coming for a while I have been lucky enough to have the time to settle in. Everyone here is so nice and helpful. I know this place is good for me and I only hope that I can be good for it! As dad was leaving he said something to me about just being bean...well I look forward to finding how I fit in and what role I can play here(I only hope just being me will be enough). At the Glenmary farm it is quiet, cute, and peaceful. They said the farm is where peace came and stayed...well peace is with me today which is surprising since things are still so new. Right now I am wondering what will happen next. I expect hard work. I expect some things to be awkward at first. I expect to be challenged in new ways. I expect to grow and develop a deeper relationship with God. I also expect to feel at home here. So far its the first day and life is simply easy because I have not had to do anything except to just be. A gentle breeze blows by, I hear natures noises and am comforted by the warm sun and the leaves rustling in the trees. As I sit on the porch swing and one of the farm dogs falls asleep at my feet, I wonder about the future potential this experience may bring...
For now, I am loved and I am lucky...
Colleen

Saying bye and being present. So much to do and lots of apprehensions

Saying Bye and being present. So much to do and lots of apprehensions. Fitting it all in and not being present how is the right way to handle this? How do you say goodbye to those you love for potentially a year? How do you let them know how much you care? A lot can change in a year-its hard to stay deeply connected. I know I am so lucky-I am loved a lot! Yet in some ways that makes it harder to go. The last few days have been hard. Trying to fit in everything I need to do before the move and yet trying to enjoy myself here with everyone as well. Sometimes making sure I get it all done before I leave feels as if I am setting up to leave forever. I want to be prepared but I do not want to bring too much stuff( like I usually do). I want to try and follow the aspects of simple living, but it can be hard. The last week has been fun and stressful with all of these things and pressure running through my head. Also apprehensions of being homesick and not being able to handle the work. Thinking about my future roommates and future friends and wanting to get along. Also, Getting lost and not having a cell phone. A cell phone? it sounds so stupid. A few years ago I didn't even have one and now I am dependent on it? Man maybe its good mine most likely wont work down there. Talking with Linds last night I was saying how it felt like I was saying bye for a year or forever when its weird I could just call or email people. She smartly deducted that its simply because I wont have cell service so its foreign to us. That's crazy! As this week is coming to a close and I have slowly started to begin packing I am starting to find some peace amidst the whirlwind. Ultimately I know these are fears and struggles right now, but KY is where I am supposed to be for now, and some how things will work out. So bear with me as I figure it all out...


I also heard this song on the radio and it really seemed to fit right now:
Francesca Battistelli Lyrics –
I’m Letting Go Lyrics
My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back
Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

Maybe I should give a brief intro to me( on the odd chance someone who doesnt know me already is reading this )...

I'm Colleen, and I recently graduated from Marist College this past May. I loved my time there, I learned many things, met many people, and had many many many great experiences. I Graduated with a degree in American Studies and minored in History and Public praxis with a public history concentration. And yes, sometimes even the staff at marist were often not sure how to make sense of that. Yet, it fit me, and gave me everything I was looking for at the time. I am not sure what I will do exactly with my life, but I am confident I have a good base, and will be able to handle what comes may way. At Marist I was involved in too many things to list or explain, but through them all I gained many friends and developed a great support system. Adding this to the one I already had in my family(and old friends)....I am one LUCKY girl! From teammates to housemates to praxivists and spiritual women from OL's to professors(and staff) to coaches and best friends...and of course to my FAMILY-thank you all for making me the person I am. I am very blessed and have been given so much in my life. One thing I really believe in is that those who have been given much must give much. Also, that it does not take great people to do great things, just for someone to realise something needs to be done, and then try to go out and do it. Well when I wasn't sure what to do with my post-grad life, I really wanted to go out and experience the world, and help wherever I was needed. Many months (prayers and tears) later, I was called back to Lewis County Kentucky, the place I found peace in the year before. So here begins my journey...I am excited and scared and open to what may unfold

why title the blog Come As You Are?

When trying to decide what to name my blog,I took many titles into consideration. Then, one day on the radio I heard this song titled "Come as You are." At first it reminded me of my first experience at Glen springs in Vanceburg KY when as a warm wakeup call community members yelled at those still sleeping(as late as 7am) "COME AS YOU ARE!!" so we could all gather for breakfast and get on with the day. However, listening to this song it put more meaning to this expression. It was all about bringing who you are right now, and not waiting to come to God until feeling worthy enough. It got me thinking about my upcoming experience in KY this year. I am not sure what to expect, I am both excited and nervous, yet all I can do is bring myself and trust that what I am now will be enough. So, here is my blog. I am moving in two weeks to Lewis County KY and will be a farm manager on the Glen mary farm. I have a lot to learn, but am willing to try new things thrown my way. I am simply bringing myself and am open to whatever I may learn and experience this year. I am hoping this blog will both be a way for me to make sense of my experience, but also to share it with those who cannot be there with me. Thanks for tuning in. I wish you all peace, and send my love,
Colleen