Have you ever been in a space where the energy is so wonderful...you know whole heartedly that God is present?

Have you ever had an experience where God was palpable? It seemed like you could touch him?

Have you ever been in a space where the energy is so wonderful...you know whole heartedly that God is present?

Well that’s how I felt tonight at McGinnis mass at UD. For me, being a Catholic I believe in celebrating the Eucharist and connecting in this intimate way, I believe whole heartedly that I am being changed through this ongoing connection with God...BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I ALWAYS FEEL THAT WAY AT MASS.

For me, easier entry points to experience God are often when I am awed by nature, others, or experiences in my own life. So tonight is one that will stick out in my mind.

It’s funny because the first half my mind was running...not focusing...not having the right disposition at all.  People said the homily was amazing...but I was having trouble focusing, I can’t really say...

But, I can say that during the Our Father I looked up... and saw everyone in front of me linked by chain after chain of hands holding hands, praying together. I was overcome by a profound sense of...so THIS is community. THIS is Church. THIS is how we pray. And I was so thankful. Suddenly I became aware of the energy in the room...the very real sense that God was so in that moment. How self absorbed am I that I almost missed it?

From then on, my senses were on high alert, just soaking it all in.  From watching around the room as these college students gave communion out to each other. How cool is that! Looking around, I just knew God is here. Look how God is moving in our lives! This is a place of Holy Ground.

It all culminated with amazing music. We have  wonderful students musicians and a new drummer who rocks the house. Student faces light up and they are even starting to dance! I know my face hurt from smiling so much. It was quite the celebration! Afterwards I thought...this is how a liturgy should be. There is so much joy in this room...there is so much love in this room...God is so..very really present...in this room.

Thank you God for awakening me to your presence, Forgive me for being too self absorbed and almost missing it. Thank you for grabbing my attention and allowing me to see it.  God you are Amazing!! What a great introduction to Lent!!

Leading with the heart

"Lord Ill be Forever Chasing After You"

Since High school, running has become part of my life. It created challenges,and joys-It tested and surprised me. It taught me about my weaknesses and strengths. It showed me how to set a goal and to meet it, and what to do when you fall short. Running gave me a family, memories, and kept me healthy, sane and fit.

Since College, me and running have gone through a love hate relationship. Some phases where I have been dedicated to regular running(usually while training for a race) other times, there are long gaps, even months between runs. I think at first, after college I needed a break, but recently I have been aching for the time and motivation to get to regular running again.

In my life, I have noticed a connection between healthy running habits and a healthy prayer life. When I am disciplined in one area, I tend to be in others. Also, running often becomes my prayer...Lord motivate me today...God help me get through this run...or just simply quiet de-stress time with God.

Since the farm, I have struggled to have a constant strong faith/prayer life. It sounds lame, but I have been too busy to give God my time. Crazy I know!
At a service on campus a while back I heard this song(posted below an excerpt) with the lines:

I'll be chasing after You
And I'll be forever chasing after You
I'll be chasing after You
Oh.. Lord

Verse 2:
I press toward the mark
For the prize and I wont faint
I wont faint
There's one thing that I desire
And that’s what I’m going for
I can’t continue life
Day by day growing dry
I need to be with you Jesus
I'll seek where You are"

To me this made sense. It reminded me of running.During a race where I was often fighting in the back one of two things would happen. I would zero in, focus and use all I had to catch or beat those ahead of me. I would work to close the gap until my body gave out...determined never to give up. I kept working even if the gap never got smaller. OR, I would try but let my head get in the way...and sometimes subconsciously ...almost give up. It was too hard, it took too much work. To have the race I wanted I usually had to get past my own mind, my own head, and run with my heart. If I let me heart lead I worked no matter what. BUT if I let me head lead, it got in the way.

This reminded me of my prayer life, and where I still need to grow. I think God is asking me to pray more from my heart and less with my head. To seek a relationship with him with all my heart, without analyzing, thinking too much, or letting questions and fears get in the way. I know that if I can do this, I will find this closer relationship God is calling me to.

So, pray that I exercise my heart more. In my running life but mostly in my faith life.

Help me to love and seek you Lord, I want to be forever chasing after you...

Help me to seek you Lord, no matter how far away I feel, no matter how far between us the gap feels, and no matter how much change(scary!) you are asking me to go through. Don't let me be comfortable Lord, but rather help me to be comfortable being uncomfortable...As I forever chase after you Lord.







Lyrics to Chasing After You (The Morning Song) :
Verse 1:
Each and every day
I will seek Your face
My soul is crying out for more
I want more of You
I won't be satisfied
Nor content where I am
So I will apprehend
Til I'm captured by what I'm after

Chorus:
And I will go from faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I will go from faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I'll forever be chasing after You
I'll be chasing after You
And I'll be forever chasing after You
I'll be chasing after You

Oh.. Lord

Verse 2:
I press toward the mark
For the prize and I wont faint
I wont faint
There's one thing that I desire
And that’s what I’m going for
I can’t continue life
Day by day growing dry
I need to be with you Jesus
I'll seek where You are

And I will go from faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I will go from faith to faith
From glory to glory
(Repeat)

And I'll forever be chasing after You
I'll be chasing after You
And I'll be forever chasing after You
I'll be chasing after You
(Repeat 2)

And I will go from faith to faith
From glory to glory
And I will go from faith to faith
From glory to glory

And I’ll forever be chasing after You

Parkinson's Unity Walk

Each year my family attends the Parkinson's Unity Walk which is a huge fund for research for Parkinson's disease. Since my mom was diagnosed my family has made it a priority to participate. Each year it is such a gift all of the people who come out to support my mom and her team, Team kelty. So many who can not make the actual walk come and support through donations of money and time to keep Team Kelty's efforts to raise fund for PD alive. This year my mom and her army of devoted helpers were able to raise over 7,000 dollars for the walk. This is awesome!

Also, for the walk itself we had a great turnout. It was an alright day..a little cold but the rain held out. Many of my friends in the area came...thank you all for the support...it means more then I can write!

Have you ever known that you are right where you needed to be?

I have been struggling a bit lately finding time for things I need in my life at home in NY. My family is so busy, but busy in a different way then at the farm(I still do not have a grasp on how exactly just yet). I feel like there is always something that needs to be done and yet I am not finding time for God. I need to find a way to make room for God in my daily schedule...and yet I also feel that this is where I am meant to be.

Today I had a couple of those moments where things felt so perfect. I was so grateful for the day I was given and I know now that these are the type of experiences I came home for.

It was hard for me to leave the farm and I think part of me could have stayed and been very happy there. Yet, I wanted to reconnect with my home. I was tired of missing out of family time, younger cousins growing up, my siblings sporting events, family TV time, and the ability to soak in all the love and wisdom from my grandparents. All these things I wanted back...and yet it was still hard to go.

Today, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I spent the day at Marist speaking to campus ministry students who volunteer weekly. Students came at different times through the day and it was neat getting to practice my ministry skills...running the discussions and sharing My story with the students. In between talks I was able to wander campus. I ran into many old friends from coaches to fellow alumni to favorite professors. The love I felt by so many amazing people was overwhelming. Towards the end of my day I was invited to a dinner and talk on campus. At first I felt uneasy about the invite because I was not dressed for the occasion. However I said yes( Michaela was sleeping over a friends house and the rest of the fam was in Ireland so it was a perfect set up). Long story short I got to have a fancy dinner with some of my favorite professors, I got to eat great food and listen and partake in good conversations. Also another highlight was the guests speaker who works at the University of Dayton. I got to meet him and talk about the program I am going to. I also enjoyed his speech and the questions asked afterwards. Overall I felt like it was a day meant for me and I am thankful I am back to be able to participate in such things.

Refelctions on Noah's Ark

The more time I find myself removed from the farm, the more I find myself finding wisdom in the experiences I had there. My time at the farm has transitioned from my current life story to more of an abstract memory...its hard to believe I actually did all those things...little old me(with the help of one big God that is)

One thing that has struck me is the image of Noah's ark. During my last week at the Farm, I was looking at my room walls trying to soak in the space...wanting to preserve it to my memory. As I looked around at the decorations that the room came with and the ones I added, I looked at familiar images of what I believe and love. suddenly I noticed a wooden image of Noah's Ark! It had been there my entire time and I lived among that symbol during my 18 months at the farm without realising what it stood for. Even during the floods...which I consider a dark time in my faith life...I was tired. I was so in the middle of it all I forgot to breathe and rest. And yet, God had this little sign of hope in my own bedroom...in my comfort space there was the symbol of this ark....that life moves on, there is hope after the hard times as long as you have faith there will always be hope. I found it interesting that I found this ark special not during the floods but only after I was to leave that space. I guess sometimes even when you are looking for signs of hope, we are too consumed in ourselves we miss what is right in front of us.

New York Transitions

In the last month I have been working on the transition from KY life to NY life. At first I have to be honest...it was difficult. Not that I was not excited to be home...because boy, did I miss my family! But, I was sad to leave my KY families and scared to how I might fail living the GOD life outside of the farm where it was up to me.

I think I was confused and st some times I admit socially awkward..not used to the NY type of business. Yet, after being here, I have slowly been able to let go of the farm...and not worry so much about those I have had to say goodbye to. I think as I have relaxed a bit..I have been able to find my rhythm at home...be present with the ones I love and have missed so very much...and enjoy the change back.

Here is a song whose lyrics have been helpful in my journey
"This Is The Stuff" Lyrics
by Francesca Battistelli | from the album Hundred More Years


I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please
Cause I can't find my phone

(CHORUS)
This is the stuff
That drives me crazy
This is the stuff
That's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff
That gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust
You know exactly what Your doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines
While I'm running behind

(CHORUS)

To break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world...

This is the stuff
That drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff
That gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust
You know exactly what Your doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

The image of the well

A couple months ago..God placed on my heart the image of the well. It was in responding to a chaperones questioning that I proceeded to explain that I felt my well was empty. I felt I had failed the group because I was just too tired to really get to know them all. This conversation happened after the floods, during the robbery time. Anyways I wa shocked when the chaperone seemed shocked. She replied...whatever well youre drawing from, it must be deeper then you think..because our group had no idea you were running on empty. This got me thinking...that if God supplies my well...then it never really will be dry as long as my life is in line with Gods will. This conversation stuck with me and then faded until recently. It campe up again as i refelected on my time at the farm. Looking back..I was not the well or even the water, God was. Looking back I now see that I was merely the bucket, or the vessel that was used to carry the water out to others. Over these past 18 months all of the grace I have experienced and shared it wasnt me at all, but God working thorough me. I only hope and pray that I can continue to be the vessel in Gods well for the rest of my life.